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Why did the clock get removed from the library?

Because it tocked too much.

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Puns

How did the mermaid call her friends?

On her shell phone, of course.

Puns

Why is oxygen so wealthy?

Because it's an air-ess.

Animals

What animal scores the most in basketball?

A dunk-ey.

Animals

Why should you be careful playing against a team of big cats?

They might be cheetahs.

Holiday

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?

Snowflakes.

Puns

What did the outlet say to the power cord on their date?

Sorry, I just don't feel a spark.

Animals

What do you call a baby monkey?

A chimp off the old block.

Animals

Why didn't the dog want to play football?

It was a boxer.

Current Events

Who do insects see to get their taxes done?

An account-ant.

Puns

Why were the atoms always hungry?

Their food is microscopic!

Outdoors

What did the giant flower say to the tiny flower?

Hey there, bud!

Animals

What do you call a monkey who's a whiz at technology?

A computer chimp.

Family

What do moms say is bad for both family trips and sleeping?

A wet blanket.

Puns

Why doesn't Winnie the Pooh wear shoes?

Because he prefers his bear feet.

Animals

Why did the pony not sing the lullaby?

It was a little horse.

Puns

Why is oxygen so wealthy?

Because it's an air-ess.