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Why did the cantaloupe jump into the pool?
He just wanted to be a watermelon.
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Professional
What goes by slower than a plot-less movie?
Friday afternoon.
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Food & Drinks
What do fairies always drink?
Sprite.
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Animals
Why did the toad become a lighthouse keeper?
He had his own frog horn.
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Puns
Why do cows like being told jokes?
Because they like being amoosed.
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Animals
What did the duck say as he was buying chapstick?
Just put it on my bill.
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Family
What did the stair machines call each other?
Stepsisters.
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Political
Where do polar bears vote?
The North Poll.
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Puns
What do you call a silly hill?
Hill-arious.
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Outdoors
Why shouldn't you tell secrets in a cornfield?
There are too many ears.
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Food & Drinks
Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There's no menu, you just get what you deserve.
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Outdoors
What sits at the bottom of the ocean and shakes?
A nervous wreck.
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People
Who is a Dutch cat's favorite actor?
Tom Holland.
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Animals
There were four cats in a boat. One jumped out. How many were left?
None. They were all copy cats.
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Puns
Take him out please!
My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing him. Went out. Had a few drinks. Nice guy! He is a web designer...
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Animals
Why did the cat frown when she passed the hen house?
Because she heard fowl language.
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Entertainment
Board Game With A Twist
Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble on the road. I asked him, "What's the word on the street?"
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