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Why did the cantaloupe jump into the pool?

He just wanted to be a watermelon.

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Professional

What goes by slower than a plot-less movie?

Friday afternoon.

Food & Drinks

What do fairies always drink?

Sprite.

Animals

Why did the toad become a lighthouse keeper?

He had his own frog horn.

Puns

Why do cows like being told jokes?

Because they like being amoosed.

Animals

What did the duck say as he was buying chapstick?

Just put it on my bill.

Family

What did the stair machines call each other?

Stepsisters.

Political

Where do polar bears vote?

The North Poll.

Puns

What do you call a silly hill?

Hill-arious.

The cornfield?Outdoors

Why shouldn't you tell secrets in a cornfield?

There are too many ears.

Food & Drinks

Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?

There's no menu, you just get what you deserve.

Outdoors

What sits at the bottom of the ocean and shakes?

A nervous wreck.

People

Who is a Dutch cat's favorite actor?

Tom Holland.

Animals

There were four cats in a boat. One jumped out. How many were left?

None. They were all copy cats.

web designer?Puns

Take him out please!

My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing him. Went out. Had a few drinks. Nice guy! He is a web designer...

Animals

Why did the cat frown when she passed the hen house?

Because she heard fowl language.

Scrabble road?Entertainment

Board Game With A Twist

Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble on the road. I asked him, "What's the word on the street?"