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Why did the astronaut's restaurant on the moon fail?

The food was good, but there was no atmosphere.

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Sports

What do an English major and a football player have in common?

They get anxious over rough drafts.

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Food & Drinks

What kind of friends should you take to dinner?

Your taste buds.

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Puns

How do you make antifreeze?

You steal her blanket.

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a woman wearing an orange sweater is yelling into a megaphonePeople

Which celebrity has the loudest scream?

Pierce Brosnan.

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Animals

What do you call a blind dinosaur?

A Doyouthinkhesawus.

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a mountain lion stands perched on the top of a rock in a snowy mountainous forest Animals

How did the mountain lion finally lose weight?

He quit cold turkey.

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a pilot in uniform holds her head with a surprised expressionPuns

Why was the pilot so easily distracted?

She had her head in the clouds.

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Cat's breakfast?Animals

What do cats eat for breakfast?

Mice Krispies.

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Animals

What day of the week do chickens hide?

Fry-day.

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Current Events

You have to be very careful in an ice storm.

It's sNOw joke.

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People

Who's a baby's favorite singer?

Lady Gaga.

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Cowbells?Animals

Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

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Sports

What do you call a basketball player with a drooling problem?

Double dribble.

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Puns

What do you give a sick pig?

Oinkment.

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Animals

What sort of clothes does a pet dog wear?

A petticoat.

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a pair of orange swim trunks against a light blue backgroundPuns

Why did the man bring his swim trunks to the bar?

He heard they had a pool table.

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