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Why did the astronaut's restaurant on the moon fail?

The food was good, but there was no atmosphere.

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Sports

What do an English major and a football player have in common?

They get anxious over rough drafts.

Food & Drinks

What kind of friends should you take to dinner?

Your taste buds.

Puns

How do you make antifreeze?

You steal her blanket.

a woman wearing an orange sweater is yelling into a megaphonePeople

Which celebrity has the loudest scream?

Pierce Brosnan.

Animals

What do you call a blind dinosaur?

A Doyouthinkhesawus.

a mountain lion stands perched on the top of a rock in a snowy mountainous forest Animals

How did the mountain lion finally lose weight?

He quit cold turkey.

a pilot in uniform holds her head with a surprised expressionPuns

Why was the pilot so easily distracted?

She had her head in the clouds.

Cat's breakfast?Animals

What do cats eat for breakfast?

Mice Krispies.

Animals

What day of the week do chickens hide?

Fry-day.

Current Events

You have to be very careful in an ice storm.

It's sNOw joke.

People

Who's a baby's favorite singer?

Lady Gaga.

Cowbells?Animals

Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

Sports

What do you call a basketball player with a drooling problem?

Double dribble.

Puns

What do you give a sick pig?

Oinkment.

Animals

What sort of clothes does a pet dog wear?

A petticoat.

a pair of orange swim trunks against a light blue backgroundPuns

Why did the man bring his swim trunks to the bar?

He heard they had a pool table.