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Why did someone ask the baseball player to punch them?

He was the designated hitter.

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Sports

What is a golfer's favorite bird?

They aren't picky, any birdie will do.

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Puns

What animals love to close envelopes?

Seals.

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Animals

What bird shouldn't drink coffee?

A buzz-ard.

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Animals

What do you call a dangerous fish who drinks too much?

A beer-a-cuda.

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Food & Drinks

What is CO2's favorite pasta?

Spaghetti carbon-ara.

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Outdoors

Why did the tilapia roll his eyes at the sea captain?

He was fishing for compliments.

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two dolphins are talking to each otherAnimals

What's the ocean's funniest animal?

A clownfish.

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Puns

How could the dolphin afford to buy a house?

He prawned everything.

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Education

Knock knock. Who's there? Spell. Spell who?

W-H-O.

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Outdoors

What flowers rarely depreciate in value?

Mari-golds.

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Holiday

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?

Snowflakes.

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Puns

What do you call someone who sees a robbery at an Apple Store?

The iWitness.

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Puns

What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month?

The letter D.

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Sports

What runs around a baseball field but stays still at the same time?

A fence.

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Holiday

How come you never hear anything about the 10th reindeer Olive?

Yeah, you know, "Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names".

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crowded graveyard?Holiday

It's Crowded!

This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in.

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