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Why did Justin Turner sign up for the marathon near where he grew up?

It was a home run.

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Animals

What do you call a sheep with no legs or head?

A cloud.

Professional

The museum curator needed a break.

So she took her van to gogh out of here!

Animals

What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?

They go on peck-nics.

Puns

What's a toad's favorite sweet?

Lollihops.

Animals

Where would you find an elephant?

The same place you lost it.

Puns

What do you get if you cross a hen with a dog?

Pooched eggs.

Animals

What's a snake's strongest subject in school?

Hiss-tory.

Holiday

What did the skeleton order at the bar?

A beer and a mop.

moon restaurant?Science

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, but no atmosphere.

a man dressed in 1970s fashion is dancing in front of a psychedelic orange backgroundPuns

Why were dancers in the '70s always sick?

They all had boogie fever!

Puns

What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills?

Bernadette.

Food & Drinks

How does a taco bless the table?

"Lettuce pray."

Puns

What did the rug say to the floor?

I've got you covered.

Education

Which subject has two parts?

Bi-ology.

Sports

Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student?

Because education pays off in the long run.

Puns

What do clouds do as soon as they make money?

Make it rain.