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Why did Justin Turner sign up for the marathon near where he grew up?
It was a home run.
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Animals
What do you call a sheep with no legs or head?
A cloud.
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Professional
The museum curator needed a break.
So she took her van to gogh out of here!
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Animals
What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?
They go on peck-nics.
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Puns
What's a toad's favorite sweet?
Lollihops.
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Animals
Where would you find an elephant?
The same place you lost it.
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Puns
What do you get if you cross a hen with a dog?
Pooched eggs.
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Animals
What's a snake's strongest subject in school?
Hiss-tory.
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Holiday
What did the skeleton order at the bar?
A beer and a mop.
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Science
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?
Great food, but no atmosphere.
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Puns
Why were dancers in the '70s always sick?
They all had boogie fever!
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Puns
What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills?
Bernadette.
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Food & Drinks
How does a taco bless the table?
"Lettuce pray."
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Puns
What did the rug say to the floor?
I've got you covered.
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Education
Which subject has two parts?
Bi-ology.
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Sports
Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student?
Because education pays off in the long run.
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Puns
What do clouds do as soon as they make money?
Make it rain.
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