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Why couldn't the pepper go to archery practice?

It didn't habanero.

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Professional

What did the train engineer's friend tell her when she did something crazy?

You're loco-motive!

Puns

How did the mermaid call her friends?

On her shell phone, of course.

Holiday

Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?

Because it "soots" him.

Travel

Where do optometrists go on vacation?

Eye-celand!

a man is smiling while taking a picture Professional

Why did the photographer attract so many mice?

She was always saying cheese.

Animals

What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.

Puns

How often should you make chemistry jokes?

Periodically.

Animals

Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?

Of course, houses can't jump.

Puns

What do you call a belt made of clocks?

A waist of time.

Puns

What's a henway?

About ten pounds.

Animals

What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.

Animals

What kind of bees hum and drop things?

A fumble bee.

The horse?Animals

Why was the horse so happy?

Because they lived in a stable environment.

Sports

What is the difference between baseball and law?

In baseball, if you're caught stealing, you're out.

Animals

What do you call a 100-year-old frog?

An old croak.

Puns

Why did the unwashed chicken cross the road twice?

Because he was a dirty double-crosser.