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Why couldn't the leopard hide?

He was always spotted.

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Animals

Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.

Music

Which rock group consists of four men that don't sing?

Mount Rushmore.

Food & Drinks

What loaf of bread has a bad attitude?

Sourdough.

Outdoors

Why did everyone want to be near the volcano?

Because it's just so lava-ble.

Puns

Why do vampires always look sick?

They keep coffin.

Animals

How does a polar bear build a house?

Igloos it together.

People

What do they call pastors in Germany?

German Shepherds.

Sports

Why did the footballer hold his boot to his ear?

Because he liked sole music.

Education

What's a snake's favorite subject in school?

Hissssss-tory.

Entertainment

Why did the God of Thunder need to stretch his muscles so much when he was a kid?

He was a little Thor.

Animals

What animal loves to sway side-to-side?

A lean-mur.

Puns

What's the opposite of irony?

Wrinkly.

Food & Drinks

Why did the chocolate chip cookie go to the doctor?

Because it was feeling crummy.

Entertainment

What do you call a robot that takes the long way?

R2 detour.

Holiday

What did the skeleton order at the bar?

A beer and a mop.

Political

Where do polar bears vote?

The North Poll.