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Why can't the lifeguards save the hippies?
Because they're too far out.
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Animals
Why do bees buzz?
Because they can't whistle.
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Sports
Why did the mom decide to play soccer in her spare time?
Just for kicks.
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Puns
What did the outlet say to the power cord on their date?
Sorry, I just don't feel a spark.
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Outdoors
Why are lunges a great way to start exercising?
Well, they are a big step forward.
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Puns
Which fish go to heaven when they die?
Angelfish.
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Education
Why did the clock get removed from the library?
Because it tocked too much.
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Puns
Did you hear about the country giving free bread to its citizens?
It was a generous dough-nation.
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Puns
What is a whale's favorite sport?
Beach-ed volleyball.
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Puns
What fairy loves to count?
The two-th fairy.
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Puns
Why did the lizard go on a diet?
It weighed too much for its scales.
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Animals
What happens when a cow doesn't shave?
It grows a moostache.
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Puns
What sport is full of interior designers?
Rug-by.
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Holiday
How come you never hear anything about the 10th reindeer Olive?
Yeah, you know, "Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names".
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Professional
Did you know you can actually listen to the blood in your veins?
You just have to listen varicosely.
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Entertainment
What's both a number one hit and a total failure?
A Blockbuster.
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Professional
What did the NSA employee say when her friend tried to tell her a new joke?
Heard it.
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