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Why can't the lifeguards save the hippies?

Because they're too far out.

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Animals

Why do bees buzz?

Because they can't whistle.

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Sports

Why did the mom decide to play soccer in her spare time?

Just for kicks.

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Puns

What did the outlet say to the power cord on their date?

Sorry, I just don't feel a spark.

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Outdoors

Why are lunges a great way to start exercising?

Well, they are a big step forward.

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Puns

Which fish go to heaven when they die?

Angelfish.

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Education

Why did the clock get removed from the library?

Because it tocked too much.

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various loaves of bread piled togetherPuns

Did you hear about the country giving free bread to its citizens?

It was a generous dough-nation.

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a humpback whale breaches the surface and jumps out of the waterPuns

What is a whale's favorite sport?

Beach-ed volleyball.

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a small girl, dressed up as a fairy in a fluffy tulle dress with wings, is sitting in a forestPuns

What fairy loves to count?

The two-th fairy.

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Puns

Why did the lizard go on a diet?

It weighed too much for its scales.

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Animals

What happens when a cow doesn't shave?

It grows a moostache.

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a group of three people going over color palates while looking at a laptopPuns

What sport is full of interior designers?

Rug-by.

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Holiday

How come you never hear anything about the 10th reindeer Olive?

Yeah, you know, "Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names".

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Professional

Did you know you can actually listen to the blood in your veins?

You just have to listen varicosely.

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a man is scratching his head with a puzzled look on his faceEntertainment

What's both a number one hit and a total failure?

A Blockbuster.

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Professional

What did the NSA employee say when her friend tried to tell her a new joke?

Heard it.

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