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Why can't the lifeguards save the hippies?

Because they're too far out.

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Animals

Why do bees buzz?

Because they can't whistle.

Sports

Why did the mom decide to play soccer in her spare time?

Just for kicks.

Puns

What did the outlet say to the power cord on their date?

Sorry, I just don't feel a spark.

Outdoors

Why are lunges a great way to start exercising?

Well, they are a big step forward.

Puns

Which fish go to heaven when they die?

Angelfish.

Education

Why did the clock get removed from the library?

Because it tocked too much.

various loaves of bread piled togetherPuns

Did you hear about the country giving free bread to its citizens?

It was a generous dough-nation.

a humpback whale breaches the surface and jumps out of the waterPuns

What is a whale's favorite sport?

Beach-ed volleyball.

a small girl, dressed up as a fairy in a fluffy tulle dress with wings, is sitting in a forestPuns

What fairy loves to count?

The two-th fairy.

Puns

Why did the lizard go on a diet?

It weighed too much for its scales.

Animals

What happens when a cow doesn't shave?

It grows a moostache.

a group of three people going over color palates while looking at a laptopPuns

What sport is full of interior designers?

Rug-by.

Holiday

How come you never hear anything about the 10th reindeer Olive?

Yeah, you know, "Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names".

Professional

Did you know you can actually listen to the blood in your veins?

You just have to listen varicosely.

a man is scratching his head with a puzzled look on his faceEntertainment

What's both a number one hit and a total failure?

A Blockbuster.

Professional

What did the NSA employee say when her friend tried to tell her a new joke?

Heard it.