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Why can't dogs operate MRI machines?

I don't know, but catscan.

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Animals

What do you get if you cross a cat with a tree?

A cat-a-logue.

Food & Drinks

What did the bread say when he proposed to his girlfriend?

I loaf you!

Puns

What kind of pole is short and floppy?

A tadpole.

Holiday

What's a mummy's favorite food to eat?

Wraps.

Professional

What kind of money do fishermen make?

Net profits.

Puns

What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo?

A woolly jumper.

a nurse attends to four babies each in their own hospital bassinetPuns

What do you call it when the maternity ward is low-staffed?

A mid-wife-crisis!

a bike sits on a stand in a repair shop with many toolsScience

Did you hear that H2O opened up a bike shop?

It's called the water cycle.

Science

Why do math teachers love March?

Because of pi day!

Puns

Everyone says that mushroom is such a fungi, so why didn't they have the party at his house?

Because he didn't have mushroom there.

Puns

What do you call a joke book for chickens?

A yolk book.

Puns

How do fireflies start a race?

Ready, steady, glow.

a close-up of a white sheep against a white backgroundPeople

Which singer loves to groom sheep?

Ed Shear-an.

Puns

Why was the picture sent to jail?

It was framed.

Animals

What do you call the donkey with 3 legs?

Wonky.

Puns

Who has eight guns and terrorizes the ocean?

Billy the Squid.