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Why can't Cinderella play soccer?

Because she's always running away from the ball!

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Animals

What do you call a 100-year-old frog?

An old croak.

Food & Drinks

How do eggs end a TV show?

That's all, yolks!

Sports

What is the difference between Yankee fans and dentists?

One roots for the yanks, and the other yanks for the roots.

Outdoors

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?

A stick.

Entertainment

Why are ET's eyes so big?

Because he saw the phone bill.

Animals

Why was the fish so smart?

It lived in a school.

Holiday

What do you call Santa's Helpers?

Subordinate clauses.

Puns

What do you do if you're afraid of elevators?

Take steps to avoid them.

People

What do people call Arnold Schwarzenegger in retirement?

The Exterminator.

Music

What do you call berries playing the guitar?

A jam session.

Outdoors

Why do trees have so many friends?

They branch out.

Animals

How long do chickens work?

Around the cluck.

Animals

What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose?

A collie-flower.

Animals

What is the biggest ant in the world?

An elephant.

Family

Who are crows' favorite family members?

Caw-sins.

Animals

What is the definition of Robin?

A bird who steals.