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Why can't your hand be 12 inches long?

Because then it would be a foot.

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Animals

Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?

He heard the referee calling fowls.

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Sports

Why did the crocodile run his mile so fast?

He had Gatorade.

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Food & Drinks

Why was the chip acting so goofy?

He was a cheese-ball.

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Puns

When Sunday and Monday get into a fight, who typically wins?

Sunday, because Monday is a week-day.

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Animals

What's the biggest moth in the world?

A mammoth.

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Animals

Why did the tadpole feel lonely?

Because he was newt to the area.

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Animals

What kind of dog loves to eat?

A Chow.

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The Seagulls?Animals

Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay they'd be bagels.

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Holiday

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

Because he didn't have the guts.

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Family

Which family member is always relieved?

A ne-phew.

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Entertainment

What do you call a nearsighted cowboy?

Squint Eastwood.

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Animals

What did the horse say when it collapsed?

"Help! I've fallen and I can't giddyup!"

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Animals

Why are elephants wiser than chickens?

Have you ever heard of Kentucky Fried Elephant?

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Professional

How does NASA organize a company party?

They planet.

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Animals

Why don't elephants like playing cards in the jungle?

Because of all the cheetahs.

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Outdoors

Does your shoe have a hole in it?

Of course, it's where my foot goes!

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