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Why can't your hand be 12 inches long?

Because then it would be a foot.

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Animals

Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?

He heard the referee calling fowls.

Sports

Why did the crocodile run his mile so fast?

He had Gatorade.

Food & Drinks

Why was the chip acting so goofy?

He was a cheese-ball.

Puns

When Sunday and Monday get into a fight, who typically wins?

Sunday, because Monday is a week-day.

Animals

What's the biggest moth in the world?

A mammoth.

Animals

Why did the tadpole feel lonely?

Because he was newt to the area.

Animals

What kind of dog loves to eat?

A Chow.

The Seagulls?Animals

Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay they'd be bagels.

Holiday

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

Because he didn't have the guts.

Family

Which family member is always relieved?

A ne-phew.

Entertainment

What do you call a nearsighted cowboy?

Squint Eastwood.

Animals

What did the horse say when it collapsed?

"Help! I've fallen and I can't giddyup!"

Animals

Why are elephants wiser than chickens?

Have you ever heard of Kentucky Fried Elephant?

Professional

How does NASA organize a company party?

They planet.

Animals

Why don't elephants like playing cards in the jungle?

Because of all the cheetahs.

Outdoors

Does your shoe have a hole in it?

Of course, it's where my foot goes!