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Why can't your hand be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
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Animals
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
He heard the referee calling fowls.
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Sports
Why did the crocodile run his mile so fast?
He had Gatorade.
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Food & Drinks
Why was the chip acting so goofy?
He was a cheese-ball.
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Puns
When Sunday and Monday get into a fight, who typically wins?
Sunday, because Monday is a week-day.
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Animals
What's the biggest moth in the world?
A mammoth.
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Animals
Why did the tadpole feel lonely?
Because he was newt to the area.
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Animals
What kind of dog loves to eat?
A Chow.
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Animals
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay they'd be bagels.
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Holiday
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn't have the guts.
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Family
Which family member is always relieved?
A ne-phew.
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Entertainment
What do you call a nearsighted cowboy?
Squint Eastwood.
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Animals
What did the horse say when it collapsed?
"Help! I've fallen and I can't giddyup!"
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Animals
Why are elephants wiser than chickens?
Have you ever heard of Kentucky Fried Elephant?
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Professional
How does NASA organize a company party?
They planet.
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Animals
Why don't elephants like playing cards in the jungle?
Because of all the cheetahs.
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Outdoors
Does your shoe have a hole in it?
Of course, it's where my foot goes!
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