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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the "P" is silent.
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Animals
What did the bee say to the flower?
Hello honey.
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Food & Drinks
Why do diners never serve lobster?
They're shellfish.
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Puns
How often should you make chemistry jokes?
Periodically.
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Holiday
What's Father Christmas called when he takes a rest while delivering presents?
Santa pause.
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Puns
Did you hear how Cap'n Crunch® died?
Yeah, it was a cereal killer.
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Puns
Why is oxygen so wealthy?
Because it's an air-ess.
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Professional
What goes by slower than a plot-less movie?
Friday afternoon.
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Sports
What's a decade's favorite sport?
Tennis.
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Professional
What did the angry customer say to the mechanic who couldn't figure out what was wrong with his car?
You auto-know better!
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Puns
What did the eggs say to the toast after a long day?
We're fried.
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Outdoors
Which flower is easily embarrassed?
A rose.
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Puns
Why shouldn't you buy anything with velcro?
They're a total rip-off.
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Animals
Where do frogs keep their money?
In a river bank.
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Puns
Why don't eggs tell each other jokes?
Because they'd crack each other up.
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Puns
What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills?
Bernadette.
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Family
What type of school do kids beg to go to during the summertime?
Sundae School.
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