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Why are sandals so indecisive?

They always flip-flop back and forth.

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Animals

What's a bee's favorite novel?

The Great Gats-bee.

Puns

What do you get if you cross a hen with a dog?

Pooched eggs.

People

How do you talk to a giant?

Use big words.

The fish?Animals

Why did the fish blush?

Because it saw the ocean's bottom.

Santa & soccer?Holiday

What did Santa bring the naughty soccer player?

COOOOOOOAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL!

Animals

What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a jelly?

The collie wobbles.

Science

How does the moon cut her hair?

Eclipse it.

Animals

What do you say to the tree frog who needs a lift?

Hop in.

Professional

Why did the barber win the race?

She knew shortcuts.

People

What do a tick and the Louvre have in common?

They are both Paris sites.

Professional

What goes by slower than a plot-less movie?

Friday afternoon.

Puns

What do snowmen wear on their heads?

Ice caps.

Puns

What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.

People

What do you call a person who is happy on Mondays?

Retired.

Sports

What is a cat's favorite part of baseball?

The seventh-inning stretch.

Professional

Why did the Uber driver get fired?

The passengers kept reporting him for going the extra mile.