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Why are frogs always happy?
They eat what bugs them.
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Puns
Why is a fish easy to weigh?
Because it has its own scales.
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Puns
Do you have the best ceiling?
No, but it's up there.
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Puns
Why is it wrong to steal a thesaurus?
Because people have no words for how angry it makes them.
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Animals
Why is it easy for chicks to talk?
Because talk is cheep.
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Animals
What did the beaver say to the tree?
Been nice gnawing you.
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Entertainment
What did the teacher say when the Demogorgon showed up in their classroom?
Stranger things have happened.
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Education
Why did the professor write on the window?
She wanted the lesson to be clear.
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Animals
What happened to the chicken whose feathers were all pointing the wrong way?
She was tickled to death.
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Puns
How do you make antifreeze?
You steal her blanket.
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Puns
What do you call a Russian flea?
A Moscow-ito.
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Outdoors
Why shouldn't you tell secrets in a cornfield?
There are too many ears.
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Sports
What runs around a baseball field but stays still at the same time?
A fence.
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Professional
What do you call a bunch of grandmasters of chess bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
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Food & Drinks
Why did the sausage quit playing baseball?
He was the wurst on his team.
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Animals
What kind of bees hum and drop things?
A fumble bee.
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Current Events
Why was the spring storm in a great mood?
It was on cloud nine!
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