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Why are frogs always happy?

They eat what bugs them.

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Puns

Why is a fish easy to weigh?

Because it has its own scales.

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Puns

Do you have the best ceiling?

No, but it's up there.

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Puns

Why is it wrong to steal a thesaurus?

Because people have no words for how angry it makes them.

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Animals

Why is it easy for chicks to talk?

Because talk is cheep.

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Animals

What did the beaver say to the tree?

Been nice gnawing you.

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Entertainment

What did the teacher say when the Demogorgon showed up in their classroom?

Stranger things have happened.

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Education

Why did the professor write on the window?

She wanted the lesson to be clear.

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Animals

What happened to the chicken whose feathers were all pointing the wrong way?

She was tickled to death.

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Puns

How do you make antifreeze?

You steal her blanket.

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Puns

What do you call a Russian flea?

A Moscow-ito.

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The cornfield?Outdoors

Why shouldn't you tell secrets in a cornfield?

There are too many ears.

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Sports

What runs around a baseball field but stays still at the same time?

A fence.

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Professional

What do you call a bunch of grandmasters of chess bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?

Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

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Food & Drinks

Why did the sausage quit playing baseball?

He was the wurst on his team.

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Animals

What kind of bees hum and drop things?

A fumble bee.

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Current Events

Why was the spring storm in a great mood?

It was on cloud nine!

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