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Why are frogs always happy?

They eat what bugs them.

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Puns

Why is a fish easy to weigh?

Because it has its own scales.

Puns

Do you have the best ceiling?

No, but it's up there.

Puns

Why is it wrong to steal a thesaurus?

Because people have no words for how angry it makes them.

Animals

Why is it easy for chicks to talk?

Because talk is cheep.

Animals

What did the beaver say to the tree?

Been nice gnawing you.

Entertainment

What did the teacher say when the Demogorgon showed up in their classroom?

Stranger things have happened.

Education

Why did the professor write on the window?

She wanted the lesson to be clear.

Animals

What happened to the chicken whose feathers were all pointing the wrong way?

She was tickled to death.

Puns

How do you make antifreeze?

You steal her blanket.

Puns

What do you call a Russian flea?

A Moscow-ito.

The cornfield?Outdoors

Why shouldn't you tell secrets in a cornfield?

There are too many ears.

Sports

What runs around a baseball field but stays still at the same time?

A fence.

Professional

What do you call a bunch of grandmasters of chess bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?

Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

Food & Drinks

Why did the sausage quit playing baseball?

He was the wurst on his team.

Animals

What kind of bees hum and drop things?

A fumble bee.

Current Events

Why was the spring storm in a great mood?

It was on cloud nine!