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Why are bankers so good at American politics?

It's a system of checks and balances!

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Education

What words make the best athletes?

Pro-nouns.

Puns

What's another name for your iPhone charger?

Apple juice.

Puns

If you had to vote which one is faster, would you choose hot or cold?

Hot! Because you can definitely catch a cold.

a white and tan spotted pony appears to smile at the cameraAnimals

Why couldn't the pony speak at the convention?

It was too hoarse.

a person puts a chlorine tablet into a chemical feeder for a poolSports

What game does chlorine never lose?

Pool.

Music

What's a balloon's least favorite type of music?

Pop.

Holiday

What's Father Christmas called when he takes a rest while delivering presents?

Santa pause.

Outdoors

What's the ocean's favorite song?

Surfin' USA.

Animals

What kind of dog loves to eat?

A Chow.

Puns

What happened to the city in France where the cheese factory exploded?

Da brie was flying everywhere.

Sports

Why did the basketball player have so many good arguments?

He was the point guard.

People

Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?

Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.

Entertainment

What did the teacher say when the Demogorgon showed up in their classroom?

Stranger things have happened.

Education

How many letters are there in the alphabet?

Twenty-four, because E.T. went home.

a nurse attends to four babies each in their own hospital bassinetPuns

What do you call it when the maternity ward is low-staffed?

A mid-wife-crisis!

Education

Why did the clock get removed from the library?

Because it tocked too much.