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Why are bakers so good at math?

They love Pi!

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Holiday

What was Cleopatra's favorite day of the year?

Mummy's Day.

Animals

Where do rabbits go out to dance?

A hip-hop club.

Professional

My boss instructed me to set up the company's 401k.

I told her I don't think anyone on the team can run that far.

Puns

How often should you make chemistry jokes?

Periodically.

Entertainment

Why did I name my printer Bob Marley?

Because it's always jammin'.

Animals

How do you spell mousetrap in just three letters?

C-A-T.

a cat wearing glasses and a bow tie sits next to a mini chalkboard with fish drawn on itAnimals

What is a cat's favorite math problem?

A box and whisker plot.

Sports

When fish play football, who is the captain?

The team's kipper.

Education

To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you.

You have my Word!

Outdoors

Have you ever seen Orion's Belt?

Yeah, it's a huge waist of space.

Animals

What do you call a kangaroo's lazy joey?

Pouch potato.

Sports

What should a football team do if the pitch is flooded?

Bring on their subs.

Current Events

Who isn't happy to get an Academy Award?

Oscar the grouch.

Animals

What do you call a lion who has eaten your mother's sister?

An aunt-eater.

Animals

Why is an elephant braver than a hen?

Because the elephant isn't chicken.

Puns

Who sits in a corner all day but somehow still travels the world?

A stamp.