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Why am I no longer addicted to the hokey pokey?

I turned myself around.

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Outdoors

What sits at the bottom of the ocean and shakes?

A nervous wreck.

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Vehicles

What kind of car does a chicken have?

A coop.

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Holiday

Why do moms make good vintners?

Because they deal with a lot of whine.

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Holiday

What did Santa bring to the potluck?

Slaw la la la laaa, la la la laaaaaa.

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Animals

What do you call a sheepdog's tail that can tell tall stories?

A shaggy dog's tale.

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Vehicles

Why are Olympians so picky about their vehicles?

They'll only drive a sports car.

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an excited person holds 17 one-hundred dollar bills fanned out in front of their facePuns

What do you call the sound made by a new lottery winner?

Squeal of fortune!

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a woman wearing blue scrubs and a blue medical face mask has a surprised facial expressionProfessional

What happened when the dentist got in a car accident?

He had to go back to dent-al school.

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a large inflated red number five against a white backgroundPuns

Why is the number 5 good at keeping secrets?

It can plead the fifth.

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Holiday

What does one Valentine's Day card say to another that is physically fit?

You're from good cardstock.

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Holiday

Where do sports go on a Valentine's Day date?

The ball-et.

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Puns

What lives in the ocean, is grouchy, and hates neighbors?

A hermit crab.

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Animals

What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.

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Outdoors

I can cut down a tree only using my vision...

I saw it with my own eyes.

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Animals

Why did the elephant eat the candle?

For light refreshment.

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Animals

Where do frogs keep their money?

In a river bank.

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