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Why am I no longer addicted to the hokey pokey?

I turned myself around.

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Outdoors

What sits at the bottom of the ocean and shakes?

A nervous wreck.

Vehicles

What kind of car does a chicken have?

A coop.

Holiday

Why do moms make good vintners?

Because they deal with a lot of whine.

Holiday

What did Santa bring to the potluck?

Slaw la la la laaa, la la la laaaaaa.

Animals

What do you call a sheepdog's tail that can tell tall stories?

A shaggy dog's tale.

Vehicles

Why are Olympians so picky about their vehicles?

They'll only drive a sports car.

an excited person holds 17 one-hundred dollar bills fanned out in front of their facePuns

What do you call the sound made by a new lottery winner?

Squeal of fortune!

a woman wearing blue scrubs and a blue medical face mask has a surprised facial expressionProfessional

What happened when the dentist got in a car accident?

He had to go back to dent-al school.

a large inflated red number five against a white backgroundPuns

Why is the number 5 good at keeping secrets?

It can plead the fifth.

Holiday

What does one Valentine's Day card say to another that is physically fit?

You're from good cardstock.

Holiday

Where do sports go on a Valentine's Day date?

The ball-et.

Puns

What lives in the ocean, is grouchy, and hates neighbors?

A hermit crab.

Animals

What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.

Outdoors

I can cut down a tree only using my vision...

I saw it with my own eyes.

Animals

Why did the elephant eat the candle?

For light refreshment.

Animals

Where do frogs keep their money?

In a river bank.