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Why am I no longer addicted to the hokey pokey?
I turned myself around.
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Outdoors
What sits at the bottom of the ocean and shakes?
A nervous wreck.
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Vehicles
What kind of car does a chicken have?
A coop.
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Holiday
Why do moms make good vintners?
Because they deal with a lot of whine.
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Holiday
What did Santa bring to the potluck?
Slaw la la la laaa, la la la laaaaaa.
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Animals
What do you call a sheepdog's tail that can tell tall stories?
A shaggy dog's tale.
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Vehicles
Why are Olympians so picky about their vehicles?
They'll only drive a sports car.
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Puns
What do you call the sound made by a new lottery winner?
Squeal of fortune!
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Professional
What happened when the dentist got in a car accident?
He had to go back to dent-al school.
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Puns
Why is the number 5 good at keeping secrets?
It can plead the fifth.
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Holiday
What does one Valentine's Day card say to another that is physically fit?
You're from good cardstock.
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Holiday
Where do sports go on a Valentine's Day date?
The ball-et.
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Puns
What lives in the ocean, is grouchy, and hates neighbors?
A hermit crab.
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Animals
What happened when the lion ate the comedian?
He felt funny.
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Outdoors
I can cut down a tree only using my vision...
I saw it with my own eyes.
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Animals
Why did the elephant eat the candle?
For light refreshment.
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Animals
Where do frogs keep their money?
In a river bank.
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