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Who sits in a corner all day but somehow still travels the world?

A stamp.

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Professional

What do basketball players and lawyers have in common?

They both go to court.

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Puns

What happened to the dancer at Seafood Disco?

He pulled a mussel.

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Current Events

Who isn't happy to get an Academy Award?

Oscar the grouch.

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Cat's TV show?Entertainment

What TV show did the cat love to watch?

Claw and Order.

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Leg Broke?Entertainment

Why do we tell actors to break a leg?

Because every play has a cast.

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Food & Drinks

What do you call a long line of people waiting for their hotdog?

A barbequeue.

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Puns

What does the milky way call its ex-girlfriend?

Space-ex.

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Puns

What do you give a sick pig?

Oinkment.

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Science

Why did the aerospace engineer have a hard time passing English?

Because it's not rocket science.

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Animals

What day of the week do chickens hide?

Fry-day.

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Professional

Where does a veterinarian's husband sleep when they're fighting?

In the dog house.

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Animals

What's a rabbit's favorite way to travel?

By hareplane.

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Sports

Why can't Cinderella play soccer?

Because she's always running away from the ball!

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Holiday

What nationality is Santa Claus?

North Polish.

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Puns

What is a sea monster's favorite meal?

Fish and ships.

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Sports

Why did the goal post get angry?

Because the bar was rattled!

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