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Who is the worm's Prime Minister?
Maggot Thatcher.
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Sports
Why are baseball games at night?
The bats sleep during the day.
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People
Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
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Education
What's 90 degrees and never incorrect?
A right triangle.
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Puns
What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills?
Bernadette.
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Puns
Where do superheroes blend right in?
Cape Canaveral.
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Puns
What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month?
The letter D.
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Outdoors
Why is shrubbery so bad at being direct with people?
Because it always beats around the bush.
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People
What do you call an animal pop star?
Justin Beaver.
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Animals
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
He heard the referee calling fowls.
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Family
Surprise!!!!
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
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Family
What did the stair machines call each other?
Stepsisters.
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Puns
What's made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?
A shoe.
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Animals
What kind of birds do you usually find locked up?
Jail-birds.
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Sports
What sport do birds of prey love to watch?
Hawk-ey.
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Animals
What happened to the chicken whose feathers were all pointing the wrong way?
She was tickled to death.
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Animals
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because the chicken didn't exist yet.
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