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Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th.
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Sports
What sport do birds of prey love to watch?
Hawk-ey.
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Puns
When Sunday and Monday get into a fight, who typically wins?
Sunday, because Monday is a week-day.
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Animals
What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a jelly?
The collie wobbles.
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Vehicles
What car is the perfect size for mice?
A minivan.
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Animals
What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
Rough Rough!
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Science
How do you stop an astronaut's baby from crying?
You rocket.
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Puns
Why does the photon not need a suitcase?
Because it's traveling light.
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Puns
What's a toad's favorite sweet?
Lollihops.
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Music
Why do hummingbirds hum instead of singing along to music?
Because they don't know the words yet.
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Education
Why did the comedian keep telling jokes about chemistry?
He was looking for a good reaction.
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Animals
What animal cheers the loudest at sports games?
A whee-bra!
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Puns
Why are skeletons always hungry?
They're skin and bones.
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Holiday
What's a doctor's favorite Olympic sport?
Skeleton.
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Puns
What insect runs away from everything?
A flee.
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Animals
What does the lion say to his friends before they go out hunting for food?
"Let us prey."
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Puns
What happens when you eat too much alphabet soup?
You have a vowel movement.
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