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Who has eight guns and terrorizes the ocean?

Billy the Squid.

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Animals

What kind of birds do you usually find locked up?

Jail-birds.

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Outdoors

Why shouldn't you iron a four-leaf clover?

You shouldn't press your luck.

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Holiday

Why does Santa's sled get such good mileage?

Because it has long-distance runners on each side.

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Animals

Where do horses reside?

In neigh-borhoods.

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Vehicles

Why did the train always get heated in an argument?

It was a steam engine.

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Education

What do librarians use as bait when they go fishing?

Book worms.

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Animals

What do you call a blind dinosaur?

A Doyouthinkhesawus.

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Puns

How do you know if a joke is considered a dad joke?

It becomes apparent.

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Holiday

What is the best Christmas present ever?

A broken drum-you can't beat it.

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Puns

What's a toad's favorite sweet?

Lollihops.

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Animals

What did they call the canary that flew into the pastry dish?

Tweetie Pie.

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Professional

What did the lawyer name his daughter?

Sue.

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Animals

Why is the snail the strongest animal?

Because he carries a house on his back.

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Animals

How does a polar bear build a house?

Igloos it together.

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Entertainment

Why did I name my printer Bob Marley?

Because it's always jammin'.

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Puns

Why should you stand in a corner if you're cold?

They're usually 90 degrees.

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