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Which state has the best streets?
Rhode Island.
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Outdoors
Why are trees so good at interior design?
They know how to Spruce a place up.
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Entertainment
Which kitchen ingredient can also sing?
Grease.
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Puns
How can you tell if a tree is a dogwood?
By its bark.
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Puns
Which birds steal soap from the bath?
Robber ducks.
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Entertainment
Why did the man buy the discounted TV with a broken volume control?
He couldn't turn it down.
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Puns
Why does the photon not need a suitcase?
Because it's traveling light.
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Puns
What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills?
Bernadette.
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Puns
What kind of things does a farmer talk about when he is milking cows?
Udder nonsense.
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Education
Why was school so much easier for cavemen?
There was no history class.
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Animals
Which bear always goes to timeout for being condescending to other bears?
A pan-duh!
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Holiday
Why is April the cleanest month of all?
Spring cleaning!
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Puns
What shape has a knighthood?
Cir-cle.
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Animals
What games do ants play with elephants?
Squash.
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Entertainment
What do you call it when Batman skips church?
Christian Bale.
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Puns
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
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Puns
How can you tell if a tree is a dogwood?
By its bark.
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