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Which rock group consists of four men that don't sing?

Mount Rushmore.

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Animals

What did the seal say when he saw his friend jump in the ocean?

I otter do that!

Animals

Why did the cat frown when she passed the hen house?

Because she heard fowl language.

Food & Drinks

How does dinner smell?

Through its nose.

Puns

When Sunday and Monday get into a fight, who typically wins?

Sunday, because Monday is a week-day.

Entertainment

Where did Captain Hook purchase his hook?

At the local second-hand store.

The pterodactyl?Animals

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?

Because the "P" is silent.

Family

Why are cause and effect so close?

They're related.

Food & Drinks

Why did the chocolate chip cookie go to the doctor?

Because it was feeling crummy.

Puns

What did the lovesick bull say to the cow?

When I fall in love it will be for heifer.

People

Which celebrity is always prepared for cereal?

Reese, with her spoon.

Puns

What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.

Travel

Why did the airplane get grounded?

It had a bad altitude.

Education

Why did the clock get removed from the library?

Because it tocked too much.

Sports

What's the loudest sport?

Racket-ball.

Animals

What do you call the pig that does karate?

A pork chop.

four pigs are grazing in a grassy fieldPuns

What do you call a pig with no clothes on?

Streaky bacon.