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Which fish go to heaven when they die?

Angelfish.

Looking for a specific joke?

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Holiday

Why did Santa spell Christmas N-O-E?

Because the angel said, "No L!"

Animals

Why did the tadpole feel lonely?

Because he was newt to the area.

Sports

What position does lemonade play in baseball?

Pitcher.

Animals

What do you call a baby monkey?

A chimp off the old block.

Outdoors

How did the farmer fix his torn overalls?

With a cabbage patch.

Outdoors

What flowers rarely depreciate in value?

Mari-golds.

Sports

What do sprinters eat before a race?

Nothing, they fast!

a cat is playing with a roll of toilet paper in the bathroomAnimals

Why did the cat go to the bathroom in the trash can?

Because it's a litter box.

Holiday

What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?

Bam-BOO!

Food & Drinks

Why did the tomato go out with the prune?

Because she couldn't find a date.

Puns

What do you get if you cross a pile of mud with a pig?

A groundhog.

Puns

Why did the foal cough?

Because he was a little horse.

Science

What math figure is also in the band?

A symbol.

Puns

How do you take a pig to the hospital?

By hambulance.

Puns

What do you call the wife of a hippie?

A Mississippi.

Puns

Knock knock. Who's there? Nobel. Nobel who?

There's nobel... that's why I knocked.