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Which Count makes the best pie crust?

The Count of Monte Crisco.

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Puns

Wanna hear a joke about paper?

Never mind. It's tearable...

Travel

What are rental cars called in Spain?

Barceloaners.

a major highway in Shanghai, China lit up at nightVehicles

What are the smartest highways in the world?

Roads scholars.

Puns

What sound does a witch's car make?

Broom broom!

Professional

Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night?

"No change yet."

Holiday

What is the best Christmas present ever?

A broken drum-you can't beat it.

a bunch of clams sits together against a white backgroundAnimals

Why do all ocean animals get along with mollusks?

Because they're as happy as a clam.

Animals

Why did the big cat get disqualified from the Olympics?

For being a cheetah.

Puns

What kind of pole is short and floppy?

A tadpole.

Animals

What happened to the chicken whose feathers were all pointing the wrong way?

She was tickled to death.

School supplies?Education

What's the king of all school supplies?

The ruler.

Mummy music?Music

What kind of music do mummies listen to?

Wrap music.

Sports

What do you call a basketball player with a drooling problem?

Double dribble.

Holiday

Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?

He wanted to sleep like a log.

Entertainment

Which kitchen ingredient can also sing?

Grease.

Puns

What did one angel say to the other angel?

Halo there.