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Which celebrity has the best handwriting?

Sean Pen.

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Animals

What do you call a cow with two legs?

Eileen.

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Professional

What kind of money do fishermen make?

Net profits.

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Sports

What is the difference between Yankee fans and dentists?

One roots for the yanks, and the other yanks for the roots.

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Education

How many letters are there in the alphabet?

Twenty-four, because E.T. went home.

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Family

How did the baby tell her mom that she had a wet diaper?

She sent her a pee-mail.

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Puns

What did the portable fan say to the ceiling fan?

Sorry, I'm just not a big fan.

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Food & Drinks

What do chefs do in their spare time?

They go chopping.

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Puns

What do you get if you cross a hen with a dog?

Pooched eggs.

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People

How do you talk to a giant?

Use big words.

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People

Which celebrity is always prepared for cereal?

Reese, with her spoon.

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Family

What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to sweep!

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a person's hand holds a missing piece from a white puzzle, with the words "lies" and "true" writtenAnimals

Which big cat never tells the truth?

A lie-on.

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Holiday

Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?

Because it "soots" him.

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Travel

Who invented the first airplane that couldn't take off?

The Wrong Brothers.

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People

Did you hear about the vacuum cleaner that can cut your housework in half?

I bought two.

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Holiday

Why doesn't Dracula have any friends?

He's a real pain in the neck.

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