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Which celebrity always frowns?
Simon Scowl.
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Travel
Why did the airplane get grounded?
It had a bad altitude.
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Puns
What game do cows play at parties?
Moosical chairs.
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Animals
Why did the spider eat fireflies every evening?
He wanted a "light" snack after dinner.
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Current Events
Who isn't happy to get an Academy Award?
Oscar the grouch.
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Animals
What's a duck's favorite TV show?
The Feather Forecast.
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Animals
Why do rodents make the best runners?
Because life's a rat race.
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Puns
What do you call a pig with no clothes on?
Streaky bacon.
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Puns
When should you start writing a book?
When you have a novel idea.
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Animals
What do you get if you cross some ants with some tics?
All sorts of antics.
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Animals
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten-tickles!
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Outdoors
Why is sand so optimistic?
It has a can-dune attitude.
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Puns
What do you call the sound made by a new lottery winner?
Squeal of fortune!
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Puns
What do you call a rich person's bedroom?
A gold mine.
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Entertainment
What did the baby laptop call her father?
Data.
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Puns
What kind of books do boats write?
Ferry tales.
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Puns
Why did the elk have great hair?
It used a lot of moose.
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