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Which celebrity always frowns?

Simon Scowl.

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Travel

Why did the airplane get grounded?

It had a bad altitude.

Puns

What game do cows play at parties?

Moosical chairs.

Animals

Why did the spider eat fireflies every evening?

He wanted a "light" snack after dinner.

Current Events

Who isn't happy to get an Academy Award?

Oscar the grouch.

Animals

What's a duck's favorite TV show?

The Feather Forecast.

Animals

Why do rodents make the best runners?

Because life's a rat race.

four pigs are grazing in a grassy fieldPuns

What do you call a pig with no clothes on?

Streaky bacon.

Puns

When should you start writing a book?

When you have a novel idea.

Animals

What do you get if you cross some ants with some tics?

All sorts of antics.

Animals

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

Ten-tickles!

Outdoors

Why is sand so optimistic?

It has a can-dune attitude.

an excited person holds 17 one-hundred dollar bills fanned out in front of their facePuns

What do you call the sound made by a new lottery winner?

Squeal of fortune!

an elegant, lavish bedroom decorated in various shades of cream and ivoryPuns

What do you call a rich person's bedroom?

A gold mine.

Entertainment

What did the baby laptop call her father?

Data.

Puns

What kind of books do boats write?

Ferry tales.

a close-up of a Rocky Mountain elk while it snowsPuns

Why did the elk have great hair?

It used a lot of moose.