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Which big cat never tells the truth?

A lie-on.

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Animals

What does a cat go to sleep on?

A caterpillow.

Animals

What bee is good for your health?

Vitamin bee.

two auto mechanics are using a tablet while fixing an engineProfessional

People are so hard on car mechanics.

They can't catch a brake.

Outdoors

Why do trees have so many friends?

They branch out.

Travel

What are rental cars called in Spain?

Barceloaners.

Education

Why did the comedian keep telling jokes about chemistry?

He was looking for a good reaction.

Sports

What did they call Dracula when he won the league?

The champire.

Puns

Why doesn't Winnie the Pooh wear shoes?

Because he prefers his bear feet.

Outdoors

Why shouldn't you iron a four-leaf clover?

You shouldn't press your luck.

Education

Which letter is the sleepiest in the alphabet?

E, because it's always in bed.

Animals

Where do you take sick ponies?

To the horsepital.

Puns

What is a pig's favorite ballet?

Swine Lake.

Puns

Do the mascara and lipstick ever argue?

Sure, but then they makeup.

Sports

When fish play football, who is the captain?

The team's kipper.

Puns

What kind of books do boats write?

Ferry tales.

Animals

What did the chicken do when he saw a bucket of fried chicken?

He kicked the bucket.