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Which big cat never tells the truth?

A lie-on.

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Animals

What does a cat go to sleep on?

A caterpillow.

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Animals

What bee is good for your health?

Vitamin bee.

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two auto mechanics are using a tablet while fixing an engineProfessional

People are so hard on car mechanics.

They can't catch a brake.

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Outdoors

Why do trees have so many friends?

They branch out.

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Travel

What are rental cars called in Spain?

Barceloaners.

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Education

Why did the comedian keep telling jokes about chemistry?

He was looking for a good reaction.

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Sports

What did they call Dracula when he won the league?

The champire.

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Puns

Why doesn't Winnie the Pooh wear shoes?

Because he prefers his bear feet.

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Outdoors

Why shouldn't you iron a four-leaf clover?

You shouldn't press your luck.

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Education

Which letter is the sleepiest in the alphabet?

E, because it's always in bed.

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Animals

Where do you take sick ponies?

To the horsepital.

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Puns

What is a pig's favorite ballet?

Swine Lake.

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Puns

Do the mascara and lipstick ever argue?

Sure, but then they makeup.

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Sports

When fish play football, who is the captain?

The team's kipper.

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Puns

What kind of books do boats write?

Ferry tales.

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Animals

What did the chicken do when he saw a bucket of fried chicken?

He kicked the bucket.

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