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Which big cat loves to drive?

A jaguar.

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Education

To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you.

You have my Word!

Puns

What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills?

Bernadette.

Animals

What did they call the canary that flew into the pastry dish?

Tweetie Pie.

Puns

What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month?

The letter D.

Holiday

Why do moms make good vintners?

Because they deal with a lot of whine.

Soccer referees?Sports

What do soccer referees send during the holidays?

Yellow cards.

a yak is photoshopped with sunglasses on a white backgroundPeople

Who is a cow's favorite celebrity?

Sandra Bull-ock.

Puns

How do locomotives know where to go?

They have a lot of training.

Animals

What type of dog loves to take showers?

Shampoodles.

Puns

What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.

Animals

Where do baby apes sleep?

In apricots.

Animals

What's a snake's strongest subject in school?

Hiss-tory.

Puns

What insect runs away from everything?

A flee.

Vehicles

What vehicle works the hardest?

A try-cycle.

Animals

What sort of clothes does a pet dog wear?

A petticoat.

Food & Drinks

Why did the woman get mad at her husband when she asked him to pick up six cans of Sprite?

He picked 7 up instead.