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Where would you put an injured insect?

In an antbulance.

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Animals

How do you raise a baby elephant?

With a forklift truck.

Sports

What do a baseball team and a baker have in common?

They need a good batter!

Why quit taxi?Professional

Why did the man give up being a taxi driver?

There was too much talking behind his back.

Outdoors

Why did the body of water think so much?

It liked to pond-er.

Animals

What happens when a cow doesn't shave?

It grows a moostache.

Animals

How does a polar bear build a house?

Igloos it together.

Animals

Why did the chicken cross the net?

It wanted to get to the other site.

Holiday

What Easter candy has tons of friends?

Peeps!

Entertainment

What do you call fowl that fly into windows?

Angry birds.

Puns

Who has eight guns and terrorizes the ocean?

Billy the Squid.

Current Events

When do flowers get their workout in?

Spring Training.

Coached Bank?Sports

Why did the coach go to the bank?

To get his quarter back!!!

People

What happened when the guy walked into the bar?

He was disqualified from the limbo contest.

Animals

What kind of dog wears a uniform and medals?

A guard dog.

Puns

What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis.

Food & Drinks

What's the worst kind of bread for sandwiches?

Meatloaf.