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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa baas.

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The Oysters?Animals

Why don't oysters share their pearls?

Because they're shellfish.

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Animals

What did one firefly say to the other?

Got to glow now!

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Animals

What animal should you never play hide and seek with?

A chameleon.

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a woman wearing an orange sweater is yelling into a megaphonePeople

Which celebrity has the loudest scream?

Pierce Brosnan.

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a child dressed up in a cardboard rocket ship costume stands next to a cardboard robotScience

Why do rocket scientists take everything so seriously?

Because they understand the gravity of the situation.

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Entertainment

What do you call fowl that fly into windows?

Angry birds.

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Holiday

What is the best Christmas present ever?

A broken drum-you can't beat it.

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Professional

What goes by slower than a plot-less movie?

Friday afternoon.

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Education

Why was the grandma always getting A's on her papers?

She had a knack for gram-mer.

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Food & Drinks

How does a cucumber turn into a pickle?

It goes through a jarring experience.

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Puns

How do locomotives know where to go?

They have a lot of training.

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the sun is setting behind a body of water providing an orange glimmering sunsetCurrent Events

What did the sun use for its sewing class?

A weather pattern.

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Animals

What is the most faithful insect?

A flea, once they find someone they like they stick to them.

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Holiday

Why do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?

They are very scent-imental.

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Sports

Why do managers bring suitcases along to away games?

So that they can pack the defense.

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Animals

Why was the glow worm unhappy?

Because her children weren't that bright.

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