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Where do sheep get their hair cut?
At the baa baas.
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Animals
Why don't oysters share their pearls?
Because they're shellfish.
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Animals
What did one firefly say to the other?
Got to glow now!
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Animals
What animal should you never play hide and seek with?
A chameleon.
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People
Which celebrity has the loudest scream?
Pierce Brosnan.
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Science
Why do rocket scientists take everything so seriously?
Because they understand the gravity of the situation.
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Entertainment
What do you call fowl that fly into windows?
Angry birds.
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Holiday
What is the best Christmas present ever?
A broken drum-you can't beat it.
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Professional
What goes by slower than a plot-less movie?
Friday afternoon.
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Education
Why was the grandma always getting A's on her papers?
She had a knack for gram-mer.
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Food & Drinks
How does a cucumber turn into a pickle?
It goes through a jarring experience.
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Puns
How do locomotives know where to go?
They have a lot of training.
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Current Events
What did the sun use for its sewing class?
A weather pattern.
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Animals
What is the most faithful insect?
A flea, once they find someone they like they stick to them.
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Holiday
Why do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?
They are very scent-imental.
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Sports
Why do managers bring suitcases along to away games?
So that they can pack the defense.
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Animals
Why was the glow worm unhappy?
Because her children weren't that bright.
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