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Where do colds go on vacation?

Germ-any.

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Family

What did the antelope husband call his wife?

Deer.

Puns

Why is money so stubborn?

It doesn't want to make change.

People

Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?

Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.

Animals

Why did the mosquito go to the dentist?

To improve his bite.

People

What do a tick and the Louvre have in common?

They are both Paris sites.

Sports

What's a decade's favorite sport?

Tennis.

Family

What do cubs eat when their mom is out of town?

Bluebeary Pop-Tarts.

Puns

What is a duck's favorite dance?

The quackstep.

Sports

What is a golfer's favorite bird?

They aren't picky, any birdie will do.

Food & Drinks

Why did the woman get mad at her husband when she asked him to pick up six cans of Sprite?

He picked 7 up instead.

People

Who is the worm's Prime Minister?

Maggot Thatcher.

Animals

What do you call a dangerous fish who drinks too much?

A beer-a-cuda.

Puns

What's the saddest part of the week?

Monday mourning.

Holiday

What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?

Bam-BOO!

Puns

What's made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?

A shoe.

The Toothpaste?Music

What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?

A tuba toothpaste.