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Where do colds go on vacation?

Germ-any.

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Family

What did the antelope husband call his wife?

Deer.

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Puns

Why is money so stubborn?

It doesn't want to make change.

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People

Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?

Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.

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Animals

Why did the mosquito go to the dentist?

To improve his bite.

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People

What do a tick and the Louvre have in common?

They are both Paris sites.

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Sports

What's a decade's favorite sport?

Tennis.

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Family

What do cubs eat when their mom is out of town?

Bluebeary Pop-Tarts.

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Puns

What is a duck's favorite dance?

The quackstep.

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Sports

What is a golfer's favorite bird?

They aren't picky, any birdie will do.

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Food & Drinks

Why did the woman get mad at her husband when she asked him to pick up six cans of Sprite?

He picked 7 up instead.

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People

Who is the worm's Prime Minister?

Maggot Thatcher.

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Animals

What do you call a dangerous fish who drinks too much?

A beer-a-cuda.

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Puns

What's the saddest part of the week?

Monday mourning.

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Holiday

What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?

Bam-BOO!

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Puns

What's made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?

A shoe.

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The Toothpaste?Music

What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?

A tuba toothpaste.

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