Subscribe for more jokes!

Thank you! Your submission has been received!
Oops! Something went wrong while submitting the form.
Fields marked with an asterisk (*) are required.
By submitting this form, you are agreeing to our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use

Where did Captain Hook purchase his hook?

At the local second-hand store.

Looking for a specific joke?

Thank you! Your submission has been received!
Oops! Something went wrong while submitting the form.
Animals

Why should you not pamper a cow?

You'll get spoiled milk.

Puns

What's the saddest part of the week?

Monday mourning.

a soccer ball goes into the goal netSports

Why was the soccer player so good at keeping her house clean?

She was a sweeper.

Puns

Did you hear about the power outlet who got into a fight with a power cord?

He really thought he could socket to him.

a picnic table has two plates set with hamburgers, toppings, french fries, and condimentsAnimals

What side dish did the deer bring to the BBQ?

C-antelope.

Outdoors

Why do crabs never give to charity?

Because they are shellfish.

a Corgi dog is wrapped up in a blanketFamily

What did the puppy call his dad's best friend?

His godpawther.

four pigs are grazing in a grassy fieldPuns

What do you call a pig with no clothes on?

Streaky bacon.

People

If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get?

Missiletoe.

a rhinoceros is running through a dusty savannah Animals

Why do rhinos charge?

Because they never carry cash.

Family

Which family member is always relieved?

A ne-phew.

a mountain lion stands perched on the top of a rock in a snowy mountainous forest Animals

How did the mountain lion finally lose weight?

He quit cold turkey.

Sports

Why do baseball players have such great retirement plans?

They want to make sure their bases are covered.

hide and seek?Animals

Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?

Because he was always spotted.

Puns

How do locomotives know where to go?

They have a lot of training.

Sports

Why did Justin Turner sign up for the marathon near where he grew up?

It was a home run.