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When Sunday and Monday get into a fight, who typically wins?

Sunday, because Monday is a week-day.

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Education

Knock knock. Who's there? Spell. Spell who?

W-H-O.

Puns

What kind of tree can you hold in one hand?

A palm tree.

Professional

Why couldn't the couple get married at the library?

It was all booked up.

Animals

What games do ants play with elephants?

Squash.

Outdoors

What flowers rarely depreciate in value?

Mari-golds.

Puns

Wanna hear my favorite potassium joke?

K.

Animals

Why did the frog have a long face?

He was un-hoppy.

Puns

Who has eight guns and terrorizes the ocean?

Billy the Squid.

Outdoors

Which plant has the best roar?

A dandelion.

Animals

What do you call a kangaroo's lazy joey?

Pouch potato.

Animals

Why did the turkey cross the road?

To prove he wasn't chicken.

Puns

Which birds steal soap from the bath?

Robber ducks.

Food & Drinks

Why did the chocolate chip cookie go to the doctor?

Because it was feeling crummy.

Sports

Did you ever hear the joke about a boomerang?

I don't remember it, but it'll come back to me.

Animals

What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.

Outdoors

What's the ocean's favorite song?

Surfin' USA.