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When fish play football, who is the captain?
The team's kipper.
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Puns
What does the milky way call its ex-girlfriend?
Space-ex.
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Family
Which family member is always relieved?
A ne-phew.
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Holiday
What do you call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate clauses.
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Food & Drinks
What do you call stolen cheese?
Nacho cheese.
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Puns
What is a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
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People
Why did the runner quit the race against bigfoot?
He couldn't face defeet!
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Puns
Why is oxygen so wealthy?
Because it's an air-ess.
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Science
Did you hear that H2O opened up a bike shop?
It's called the water cycle.
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Family
Why was the coyote family such good singers?
They were a band.
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Puns
How do you find where a flea has bitten you?
Start from scratch.
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Puns
What did the adding machine say to the cashier?
You can count on me.
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Animals
Why do owls make lousy reporters?
They only ask who.
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Sports
Why can't Cinderella play soccer?
Because she's always running away from the ball!
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Animals
How do you raise a baby elephant?
With a forklift truck.
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Puns
What do you get from an Alaskan cow?
Cold cream.
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Music
What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can tune a guitar but you can't tunafish.
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