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What's the name of the winner of the chicken-eating contest?

The Lord of the Wings.

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Entertainment

What's the name of Iron Man's thieving younger brother?

Steel-man.

Puns

What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills?

Bernadette.

Animals

Why did the pony not sing the lullaby?

It was a little horse.

Animals

What do you get if you cross some ants with some tics?

All sorts of antics.

Puns

What do you give a pony with a cold?

Cough stirrup.

a woman looks annoyed at a man giving her a bouquet of flowersPuns

Why did the sea captain go on so many dates?

Because she knew there were other fish in the sea.

Sports

Why can't Cinderella play soccer?

Because she's always running away from the ball!

Food & Drinks

Why are bakers paid so much money?

They make the big dough.

Holiday

What does Father Christmas suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?

Claustrophobia.

People

Why can't bikes stand up on their own?

They're just two-tired.

Animals

Why don't ants get sick?

Because they have little antibodies.

Animals

What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.

Animals

There were four cats in a boat. One jumped out. How many were left?

None. They were all copy cats.

a view looking up through green trees in a forest with the sun shining throughOutdoors

Why are trees so good at interior design?

They know how to Spruce a place up.

a clear plastic tub is filled with water and apples sitting on the ground with fall leavesAnimals

What animal won the bobbing for apples contest at the fair?

A bobcat.

Food & Drinks

What kind of friends should you take to dinner?

Your taste buds.