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What's E.T. short for?

Because he has tiny legs.

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a close-up of a red pen and paper with an A+ written on itEducation

Why did the wizard ace his math test?

It was on magic squares.

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Puns

How are you liking that anti-gravity book?

It's impossible to put down!

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Vehicles

What car always breaks the rules?

A Nissan Rogue.

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a close-up of cola being poured into a glass and then overflowingFood & Drinks

What carbonated beverage has a future career in music?

Pop.

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Animals

Why did the mosquito go to the dentist?

To improve his bite.

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two colorful tropical fish are swimming near each otherPuns

What did the boy fish say to his girlfriend?

Your plaice or mine?

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a red bowling ball sits to the right of a set of bowling pins on a laneSports

Why do baseball players love bowling?

Because it's good to get a strike.

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Baseball armor?Sports

When should baseball players wear armor?

When they're playing knight games.

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a white and tan spotted pony appears to smile at the cameraAnimals

Why couldn't the pony speak at the convention?

It was too hoarse.

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Puns

What do you call a Russian flea?

A Moscow-ito.

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Professional

How do lawyers say goodbye?

We'll be suing ya!

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a nurse wearing blue scrubs and a stethoscope, holds a clipboard and smiles at the cameraProfessional

Why was the nurse afraid of camping?

Because there was so much poison IV.

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Travel

Where do hands go on vacation?

Palm Springs.

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Cat's breakfast?Animals

What do cats eat for breakfast?

Mice Krispies.

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Professional

What did the angry customer say to the mechanic who couldn't figure out what was wrong with his car?

You auto-know better!

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The Penguins?Animals

What's black and white and goes around and around?

A penguin in a revolving door.

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