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What's E.T. short for?

Because he has tiny legs.

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a close-up of a red pen and paper with an A+ written on itEducation

Why did the wizard ace his math test?

It was on magic squares.


How are you liking that anti-gravity book?

It's impossible to put down!


What car always breaks the rules?

A Nissan Rogue.

a close-up of cola being poured into a glass and then overflowingFood & Drinks

What carbonated beverage has a future career in music?



Why did the mosquito go to the dentist?

To improve his bite.

two colorful tropical fish are swimming near each otherPuns

What did the boy fish say to his girlfriend?

Your plaice or mine?

a red bowling ball sits to the right of a set of bowling pins on a laneSports

Why do baseball players love bowling?

Because it's good to get a strike.

Baseball armor?Sports

When should baseball players wear armor?

When they're playing knight games.

a white and tan spotted pony appears to smile at the cameraAnimals

Why couldn't the pony speak at the convention?

It was too hoarse.


What do you call a Russian flea?

A Moscow-ito.


How do lawyers say goodbye?

We'll be suing ya!

a nurse wearing blue scrubs and a stethoscope, holds a clipboard and smiles at the cameraProfessional

Why was the nurse afraid of camping?

Because there was so much poison IV.


Where do hands go on vacation?

Palm Springs.

Cat's breakfast?Animals

What do cats eat for breakfast?

Mice Krispies.


What did the angry customer say to the mechanic who couldn't figure out what was wrong with his car?

You auto-know better!

The Penguins?Animals

What's black and white and goes around and around?

A penguin in a revolving door.