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What's always playing in Santa's workshop?
Wrap music.
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Puns
Why should you wear leather when trying to stay unnoticed?
Because it's made of hide.
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Puns
What did the clean dog say to the insect?
Long time, no flea.
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Puns
What did one angel say to the other angel?
Halo there.
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Animals
What do you get if you cross a trout with an apartment?
A flat fish.
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Puns
Why was the moth so unpopular?
He kept picking holes in everything.
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Education
How many letters are there in the alphabet?
Twenty-four, because E.T. went home.
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Science
How do you stop an astronaut's baby from crying?
You rocket.
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Music
What do you call berries playing the guitar?
A jam session.
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Animals
Why were the elephants thrown out of the swimming pool?
Because they couldn't hold their trunks up.
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Holiday
What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective?
Santa Clues.
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Professional
What did the dentist call the x-ray he took of your mouth?
A tooth pic.
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People
Which celebrity always frowns?
Simon Scowl.
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Professional
Did you know you can actually listen to the blood in your veins?
You just have to listen varicosely.
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Puns
Why should you be worried about the calendar?
Its days are numbered.
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Political
Which former US President gets most confused for money?
Bill Clinton.
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Sports
Why was the stadium steaming hot after the game?
All of the fans left.
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