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What's a snake's favorite subject in school?

Hissssss-tory.

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Current Events

What do you get when two plants kiss?

Tulips!

Puns

What's an ocean's favorite playlist?

Nep-tunes.

Sports

Did you ever hear the joke about a boomerang?

I don't remember it, but it'll come back to me.

Food & Drinks

What did the bread say when he proposed to his girlfriend?

I loaf you!

Puns

What did the portable fan say to the ceiling fan?

Sorry, I'm just not a big fan.

Food & Drinks

Why do diners never serve lobster?

They're shellfish.

Political

Which part of a tree makes the biggest decisions?

The Judicial Branch.

Family

What type of school do kids beg to go to during the summertime?

Sundae School.

The Politician?Political

What's the difference between a politician and a snail?

One is slimy, a pest, and leaves a trail everywhere and the other is a snail.

Food & Drinks

What did one pickle say to the other when it didn't get its way?

Dill with it.

Animals

What did one firefly say to the other?

Got to glow now!

Animals

What dog wears contact lenses?

A cock-eyed spaniel.

Holiday

Why doesn't Dracula have any friends?

He's a real pain in the neck.

Sports

Which goalkeeper can jump higher than a crossbar?

All of them, a crossbar can't jump.

Puns

What happened to the dancer at Seafood Disco?

He pulled a mussel.

a yak is photoshopped with sunglasses on a white backgroundPeople

Who is a cow's favorite celebrity?

Sandra Bull-ock.