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What's a lizard's favorite cookie?

A fig newt-on.

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Animals

What did the confused bee say?

To bee or not to bee.

Holiday

Where do ghosts prefer to swim?

Lake Eerie.

Food & Drinks

Why was the seafood restaurant being investigated by the IRS?

They were suspected of being a shell company in some fishy business.

Puns

What occurs twice in a lifetime, but only once in a year, twice in a week, but never in a day?

The letter "E".

Professional

What has a lot more letters than the alphabet?

The post office.

The Basketball Players?Travel

Why can't basketball players go on vacation?

They aren't allowed to travel.

Puns

What did the rug say to the floor?

I've got you covered.

Puns

Which birds steal soap from the bath?

Robber ducks.

Puns

What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month?

The letter D.

Animals

Why didn't the chicken cross the road?

Because he was a "chicken".

Animals

Why is an elephant braver than a hen?

Because the elephant isn't chicken.

People

What do you call an animal pop star?

Justin Beaver.

Outdoors

What do trees wear to the lake?

Swimming trunks.

Family

How did the cowboy greet his wife every day after work?

Howdy, partner!

Animals

How do you get out of an elephant's stomach?

You run around and around until you're all pooped out.