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What's a henway?
About ten pounds.
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Animals
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.
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Animals
What do you get if cross two young dogs with a pair of headphones?
Hush puppies.
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Puns
What do insects learn at school?
Mothmatics.
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Puns
How do you make a Kleenex dance?
You put a little boogie in it.
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Sports
How did the football pitch end up as a triangle?
Somebody took a corner back.
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Animals
What do you call a litter of young dogs who have come in from the snow?
Slush puppies.
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Animals
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A seahorse.
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Animals
What British bugs are the best singers?
Beetles.
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Entertainment
Board Game With A Twist
Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble on the road. I asked him, "What's the word on the street?"
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Holiday
Why was Santa's little helper embarrassed?
Because he had low elf esteem.
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Puns
Do the mascara and lipstick ever argue?
Sure, but then they makeup.
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Animals
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
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Outdoors
Why did the snowman look through a bag of carrots?
Because he was picking his nose.
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Puns
What's the opposite of irony?
Wrinkly.
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Animals
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the shell station.
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Animals
What do you get if you cross a duck with a firework?
A firequacker.
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