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What's a bee's favorite novel?
The Great Gats-bee.
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Animals
What did the elephant do when he hurt his toe?
He called a tow truck.
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Puns
If you had to vote which one is faster, would you choose hot or cold?
Hot! Because you can definitely catch a cold.
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Animals
What do you get if you cross a frog and a dog?
A croaker spaniel.
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Outdoors
How did the farmer fix his torn overalls?
With a cabbage patch.
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Holiday
What does one Valentine's Day card say to another that is physically fit?
You're from good cardstock.
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Animals
How expensive is swimming with sharks?
It cost me an arm and a leg!
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Professional
What do basketball players and lawyers have in common?
They both go to court.
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Puns
How could the dolphin afford to buy a house?
He prawned everything.
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People
What did the rock say when someone called it a flower?
No, 'emma stone!
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Professional
Why did the actor jump into the orchestra pit?
Because the director told them to break a leg.
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Education
Why did the wizard ace his math test?
It was on magic squares.
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Puns
What do you call someone who sees a robbery at an Apple Store?
The iWitness.
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Animals
What happened when the lion ate the comedian?
He felt funny.
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Food & Drinks
How do eggs end a TV show?
That's all, yolks!
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Sports
Why are baseball games at night?
The bats sleep during the day.
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Professional
What goes by slower than a plot-less movie?
Friday afternoon.
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