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What's a bear's favorite movie?

Pirates of the Care-bear-ean.

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Professional

What did the angry customer say to the mechanic who couldn't figure out what was wrong with his car?

You auto-know better!

Food & Drinks

What do you call stolen cheese?

Nacho cheese.

Professional

Why was the plumber predicted to win American Idol?

He had an amazing set of pipes.

Science

Why do math teachers love March?

Because of pi day!

Entertainment

Why does Humpty Dumpty enjoy camping in autumn?

Because Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

The horse?Animals

Why was the horse so happy?

Because they lived in a stable environment.

Education

What happened to the Dean who lost his job?

He lost his ideanity.

Puns

What do you get if you feed gunpowder to a chicken?

An egg-splosion.

The ducks?Animals

What do ducks get after they eat?

A bill!

Lying ghosts?Animals

Why are ghosts such bad liars?

You can see right through them.

Holiday

What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective?

Santa Clues.

Puns

What's another name for your iPhone charger?

Apple juice.

Animals

How much money does a skunk have?

One scent.

Holiday

What nationality is Santa Claus?

North Polish.

Sports

Where do football directors go when they are fed up?

The bored room.

Puns

Did you hear about the power outlet who got into a fight with a power cord?

He really thought he could socket to him.