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What's a balloon's least favorite type of music?

Pop.

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People

Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?

Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.

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a man holds his hand up to his ear and appears to be shocked while listeningPuns

When you die, what part of the body dies last?

The pupils... they dilate.

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Travel

Who invented the first airplane that couldn't take off?

The Wrong Brothers.

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Professional

Why couldn't the couple get married at the library?

It was all booked up.

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Puns

What kind of pole is short and floppy?

A tadpole.

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Puns

Why didn't the lamp sink in the water?

Because it was too light.

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Animals

Why were the elephants thrown out of the swimming pool?

Because they couldn't hold their trunks up.

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Holiday

Why do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?

They are very scent-imental.

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Holiday

What did the skeleton order at the bar?

A beer and a mop.

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Animals

What do you get if cross two young dogs with a pair of headphones?

Hush puppies.

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Family

What branch of the military accepts newborns?

The infantry.

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Sports

What do a striker and a magician have in common?

Both do hat tricks.

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Astronaut's baby?Science

How do you stop an astronaut's baby from crying?

You rocket.

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a man is scratching his head with a puzzled look on his faceEntertainment

What's both a number one hit and a total failure?

A Blockbuster.

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Puns

What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

Use a cowculator.

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Puns

What did one dandelion say to the other dandelion?

Take me to your weeder.

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