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What's a balloon's least favorite type of music?
Pop.
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People
Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
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Puns
When you die, what part of the body dies last?
The pupils... they dilate.
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Travel
Who invented the first airplane that couldn't take off?
The Wrong Brothers.
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Professional
Why couldn't the couple get married at the library?
It was all booked up.
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Puns
What kind of pole is short and floppy?
A tadpole.
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Puns
Why didn't the lamp sink in the water?
Because it was too light.
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Animals
Why were the elephants thrown out of the swimming pool?
Because they couldn't hold their trunks up.
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Holiday
Why do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?
They are very scent-imental.
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Holiday
What did the skeleton order at the bar?
A beer and a mop.
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Animals
What do you get if cross two young dogs with a pair of headphones?
Hush puppies.
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Family
What branch of the military accepts newborns?
The infantry.
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Sports
What do a striker and a magician have in common?
Both do hat tricks.
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Science
How do you stop an astronaut's baby from crying?
You rocket.
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Entertainment
What's both a number one hit and a total failure?
A Blockbuster.
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Puns
What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?
Use a cowculator.
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Puns
What did one dandelion say to the other dandelion?
Take me to your weeder.
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