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What vegetable is nice to everyone?

The sweet potato.

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Puns

Why do shoemakers go to heaven?

They have great souls.

Professional

What do cats wear to work?

Kitten heels.

Professional

What did the train engineer's friend tell her when she did something crazy?

You're loco-motive!

Outdoors

Why couldn't the boxer make it in stand-up comedy?

He didn't have the right hook.

The rabbit?Animals

What do you call a rabbit with fleas?

Bugs bunny.

Puns

What do you call a silly hill?

Hill-arious.

Sports

What did the basketball player say when he lost his job?

Well, I guess I'll just power forward.

Puns

What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo?

A woolly jumper.

bird drinking?Animals

How many beers does it take to get a tropical bird drunk?

Toucans!

Holiday

What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?

Bam-BOO!

Puns

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

It was outstanding in its field.

Animals

What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?

Irrelephant!

Outdoors

Why did the snowman look through a bag of carrots?

Because he was picking his nose.

Animals

What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon?

A bird who knocks before delivering its message.

Animals

What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.

Puns

Who won the race between two balls of string?

They were tied.