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What type of car do planets buy?

A Mercury.

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a police officer in full uniform kneels on the pavement next to his german shepherd against a foggy backgroundAnimals

What animal is always ready to protect people?

An arm-adillo.

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Animals

Why was the fish so smart?

It lived in a school.

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Animals

Why do rodents make the best runners?

Because life's a rat race.

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Political

Which part of a tree makes the biggest decisions?

The Judicial Branch.

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Entertainment

Why does Snoop Dogg always have an umbrella with him?

Fo' drizzle.

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Puns

What did the clean dog say to the insect?

Long time, no flea.

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Animals

Where do you take sick ponies?

To the horsepital.

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Animals

Why do worms taste like chewing gum?

Because they're wrigleys.

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Animals

What do you call the dog magician?

A labra-cadabra.

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Outdoors

Why do trees have so many friends?

They branch out.

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Puns

Why didn't the lamp sink in the water?

Because it was too light.

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Political

Which office space loves to cut corners?

The Oval Office.

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Puns

How do you make a Kleenex dance?

You put a little boogie in it.

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People

Which celebrity can be sedimentary, igneous, or metamorphic?

The Rock.

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Baseball armor?Sports

When should baseball players wear armor?

When they're playing knight games.

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Animals

When is a black dog not a black dog?

When it's a greyhound.

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