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What type of car do planets buy?

A Mercury.

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a police officer in full uniform kneels on the pavement next to his german shepherd against a foggy backgroundAnimals

What animal is always ready to protect people?

An arm-adillo.

Animals

Why was the fish so smart?

It lived in a school.

Animals

Why do rodents make the best runners?

Because life's a rat race.

Political

Which part of a tree makes the biggest decisions?

The Judicial Branch.

Entertainment

Why does Snoop Dogg always have an umbrella with him?

Fo' drizzle.

Puns

What did the clean dog say to the insect?

Long time, no flea.

Animals

Where do you take sick ponies?

To the horsepital.

Animals

Why do worms taste like chewing gum?

Because they're wrigleys.

Animals

What do you call the dog magician?

A labra-cadabra.

Outdoors

Why do trees have so many friends?

They branch out.

Puns

Why didn't the lamp sink in the water?

Because it was too light.

Political

Which office space loves to cut corners?

The Oval Office.

Puns

How do you make a Kleenex dance?

You put a little boogie in it.

People

Which celebrity can be sedimentary, igneous, or metamorphic?

The Rock.

Baseball armor?Sports

When should baseball players wear armor?

When they're playing knight games.

Animals

When is a black dog not a black dog?

When it's a greyhound.