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What tea do footballers drink?

Penaltea.

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Puns

My friend told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo.

So I had to put my foot down!

Sports

What do two oxygen molecule friends call each other?

Air buds.

Professional

What did the NSA employee say when her friend tried to tell her a new joke?

Heard it.

Melon married?Food & Drinks

Why didn't the melons get married?

Because they cantaloupe.

Travel

Where do optometrists go on vacation?

Eye-celand!

Current Events

Who do insects see to get their taxes done?

An account-ant.

the inside of a fridge is filled with various green fruits and vegetablesFood & Drinks

What did the leafy greens say when they were trapped in the fridge?

Lettuce out of here!

Puns

To whom do fish go to borrow money?

The loan shark.

Animals

What happens to a dog that keeps eating bits off of the table?

He gets splinters in his mouth.

Forest Gump?Entertainment

What was Forrest Gump's email password?

"1forrest1"

Animals

What did the bee say to the flower?

Hello honey.

a chimpanzee appears to be angrily shoutingAnimals

What animal cheers the loudest at sports games?

A whee-bra!

a group of people stands around a table displaying blueprints of some sortProfessional

Which CIA agent is the best baker?

The s-pie.

Puns

How do you take a pig to the hospital?

By hambulance.

an aerial view of the Amazon River and surrounding jungleOutdoors

Which jungle also provides free two-day shipping?

The Amazon.

Puns

Why did the sparrow go to the library?

It was looking for bookworms.