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What tea do footballers drink?

Penaltea.

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Puns

My friend told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo.

So I had to put my foot down!

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Sports

What do two oxygen molecule friends call each other?

Air buds.

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Professional

What did the NSA employee say when her friend tried to tell her a new joke?

Heard it.

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Melon married?Food & Drinks

Why didn't the melons get married?

Because they cantaloupe.

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Travel

Where do optometrists go on vacation?

Eye-celand!

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Current Events

Who do insects see to get their taxes done?

An account-ant.

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the inside of a fridge is filled with various green fruits and vegetablesFood & Drinks

What did the leafy greens say when they were trapped in the fridge?

Lettuce out of here!

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Puns

To whom do fish go to borrow money?

The loan shark.

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Animals

What happens to a dog that keeps eating bits off of the table?

He gets splinters in his mouth.

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Forest Gump?Entertainment

What was Forrest Gump's email password?

"1forrest1"

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Animals

What did the bee say to the flower?

Hello honey.

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a chimpanzee appears to be angrily shoutingAnimals

What animal cheers the loudest at sports games?

A whee-bra!

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a group of people stands around a table displaying blueprints of some sortProfessional

Which CIA agent is the best baker?

The s-pie.

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Puns

How do you take a pig to the hospital?

By hambulance.

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an aerial view of the Amazon River and surrounding jungleOutdoors

Which jungle also provides free two-day shipping?

The Amazon.

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Puns

Why did the sparrow go to the library?

It was looking for bookworms.

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