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What tea do footballers drink?
Penaltea.
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Puns
My friend told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo.
So I had to put my foot down!
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Sports
What do two oxygen molecule friends call each other?
Air buds.
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Professional
What did the NSA employee say when her friend tried to tell her a new joke?
Heard it.
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Food & Drinks
Why didn't the melons get married?
Because they cantaloupe.
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Travel
Where do optometrists go on vacation?
Eye-celand!
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Current Events
Who do insects see to get their taxes done?
An account-ant.
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Food & Drinks
What did the leafy greens say when they were trapped in the fridge?
Lettuce out of here!
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Puns
To whom do fish go to borrow money?
The loan shark.
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Animals
What happens to a dog that keeps eating bits off of the table?
He gets splinters in his mouth.
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Entertainment
What was Forrest Gump's email password?
"1forrest1"
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Animals
What did the bee say to the flower?
Hello honey.
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Animals
What animal cheers the loudest at sports games?
A whee-bra!
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Professional
Which CIA agent is the best baker?
The s-pie.
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Puns
How do you take a pig to the hospital?
By hambulance.
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Outdoors
Which jungle also provides free two-day shipping?
The Amazon.
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Puns
Why did the sparrow go to the library?
It was looking for bookworms.
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