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What state is famous for tiny soft drinks?

Minnesota.

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Animals

What kind of birds do you usually find locked up?

Jail-birds.

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Current Events

Who isn't happy to get an Academy Award?

Oscar the grouch.

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Sports

Why did the mom decide to play soccer in her spare time?

Just for kicks.

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Sports

Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student?

Because education pays off in the long run.

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Animals

How does a polar bear build a house?

Igloos it together.

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Puns

What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

Use a cowculator.

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Animals

What do you get if you cross a duck with a firework?

A firequacker.

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Puns

Wanna hear a joke about paper?

Never mind. It's tearable...

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Food & Drinks

What do chefs do in their spare time?

They go chopping.

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Food & Drinks

What do you call stolen cheese?

Nacho cheese.

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Puns

What occurs twice in a lifetime, but only once in a year, twice in a week, but never in a day?

The letter "E".

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Toilet Paper?Puns

How is life like toilet paper?

You're either on a roll or taking poop from someone.

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Puns

Why do people love getting letters from astronauts?

They have the best space stationery.

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Puns

What does the milky way call its ex-girlfriend?

Space-ex.

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Food & Drinks

What do you call a noodle in disguise?

Impasta.

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People

How do you talk to a giant?

Use big words.

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