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What state is famous for tiny soft drinks?

Minnesota.

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Animals

What kind of birds do you usually find locked up?

Jail-birds.

Current Events

Who isn't happy to get an Academy Award?

Oscar the grouch.

Sports

Why did the mom decide to play soccer in her spare time?

Just for kicks.

Sports

Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student?

Because education pays off in the long run.

Animals

How does a polar bear build a house?

Igloos it together.

Puns

What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

Use a cowculator.

Animals

What do you get if you cross a duck with a firework?

A firequacker.

Puns

Wanna hear a joke about paper?

Never mind. It's tearable...

Food & Drinks

What do chefs do in their spare time?

They go chopping.

Food & Drinks

What do you call stolen cheese?

Nacho cheese.

Puns

What occurs twice in a lifetime, but only once in a year, twice in a week, but never in a day?

The letter "E".

Toilet Paper?Puns

How is life like toilet paper?

You're either on a roll or taking poop from someone.

Puns

Why do people love getting letters from astronauts?

They have the best space stationery.

Puns

What does the milky way call its ex-girlfriend?

Space-ex.

Food & Drinks

What do you call a noodle in disguise?

Impasta.

People

How do you talk to a giant?

Use big words.