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What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?

You can tune a guitar but you can't tunafish.

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Professional

How do lawyers say goodbye?

We'll be suing ya!

Sports

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

In case he got a hole in one.

Puns

How do you make antifreeze?

You steal her blanket.

Animals

What do you call a happy Lassie?

A jolly collie.

a chimpanzee appears to be angrily shoutingAnimals

What animal cheers the loudest at sports games?

A whee-bra!

a large orange tiger runs through powdery snowAnimals

Why couldn't the tiger run any faster in the race?

Because his opponent had him by the tail.

Puns

What are the strongest days of the week?

Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weak-days.

Animals

Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.

Entertainment

Which kitchen ingredient can also sing?

Grease.

Sheep Covered Chocolate?Animals

What Do You Call a Sheep Covered in Chocolate?

A candy BAAAAAAAAAA!

Puns

What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.

Puns

Did you hear about the power outlet who got into a fight with a power cord?

He really thought he could socket to him.

Family

What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to sweep!

Outdoors

What did the giant flower say to the tiny flower?

Hey there, bud!

Food & Drinks

What do you call stolen cheese?

Nacho cheese.

Puns

What's the saddest part of the week?

Monday mourning.