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What position does lemonade play in baseball?
Pitcher.
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Professional
Why do rabbits make good jewelers?
They can tell the best carrot.
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Animals
What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning?
An alarm cluck.
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Sports
Did you hear the joke about the football game with the 0-0 score?
Never mind, it's pointless.
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Animals
What do you call a sheepdog's tail that can tell tall stories?
A shaggy dog's tale.
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Puns
What's the saddest part of the week?
Monday mourning.
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Puns
What kind of shoes do you make with banana skins?
Slippers.
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Animals
What kind of ant is good at math?
An accountant.
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Animals
Why did the tadpole feel lonely?
Because he was newt to the area.
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Animals
What sort of clothes does a pet dog wear?
A petticoat.
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Puns
What's made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?
A shoe.
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Animals
Why is it called a litter of puppies?
Because they mess up the whole house.
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Animals
What type of dog loves to take showers?
Shampoodles.
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Puns
Wanna hear my favorite potassium joke?
K.
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Holiday
Why did Santa spell Christmas N-O-E?
Because the angel said, "No L!"
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Political
Where does Taco Bell serve in the US government?
The Burrito Supreme Court.
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Entertainment
What's the name of the winner of the chicken-eating contest?
The Lord of the Wings.
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